come and go with me
by SeventhStrife
Summary: A month has passed since that horrific night at Blackwood Pines. Everyone's trying to move on with their lives, but some things are not so easily forgotten. Predictably, Sam can be found helping everyone who survived that night...except one. And while she has good enough reason to never speak to Josh again, there's obviously something much deeper in play.
1. Prologue: DAWN, one month ago

**All I can think now is, "How dare you?" I absolutely have no business starting a new fic, especially when I already have another one in progress, and _especially_ when I have so many other uncompleted fics to finish. But. This game destroyed me. I loved it way more than I expected and I have so much love for these characters. Like many other fans, I absolutely reject that 'secret ending'. Josh deserved better, confused as he may have been (he is so precious to me I almost cried when I saw how he ended up).**

 **So here's my attempt at a somewhat better AU. I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

 _DAWN, one month ago_

* * *

" _Sam, come on!"_

 _Icy wind beats harshly on her back, slices straight through her, and she clenches her fists to hide how she trembles all over. From the cold, the fear, the adrenaline._

 _Behind her, the mansion is an inferno of splintering wood and echoed screams. The image of that..._ _ **thing**_ — _milky-eyes unseeing as it stood inches before her, that tattoo on it's shoulder_ — _is forever burned in her mind, and despite the fact that she's said her goodbyes to Hannah long ago, a tiny part of her still feels like she's losing a friend, or maybe she's finally truly appreciating what kind of end her friend must have went through. If there's any good that can be seen out of all this, it's that the creature is gone and Hannah can truly find peace with her sister._

 _Before her is the helicopter where two park rangers are helping Ashley up. Emily and Matt are already huddled inside, and Chris moves forward to pull Ashley close._

 _Jessica...A ranger is trying to talk to her, but her eyes don't focus and she sways. Sam can't hear what she's saying, but even if she could, she doubts it's anything lucid._

 _Mike's looking back at her, a bracing hand on Jessica's back, brows drawn together. He beckons her closer, giving her a look that clearly says, 'you haven't had enough of this hellhole?'_

 _A feeling makes her hesitate, makes her heart throb in pain as if petrified, desperate fingers are squeezing tighter and tighter, don'tleavemecomebacki'msorry._

 _She feels on the precipice but doesn't understand why. She thinks to push back these feelings, to put this horrible night behind her, but when she opens her mouth what comes out instead is:_

" _I'm staying."_

 _Shock makes her mouth snap shut and Mike simply freezes, as if he can't comprehend what he's heard. She can hardly believe it either. But...she_ _ **has**_ _to._

 _Mike stares at her, seems to realize this isn't some terrible joke, and his expression hardens. He faces one of the rangers, says something urgently while gesturing at Jessica, and as soon as the older man nods, Mike marches to her. The set of his jaw makes Sam swallow nervously, but she doesn't back away._

 _Mike stops when he's just a breath away and grabs her by the shoulders._

" _Look, I don't know what you're thinking but you are not. Staying. Now, come on."_

 _He tries to pull her but Sam resists, yanking back._

" _No, I'm_ _ **not.**_ _I have to get Josh—"_

 _Mike let's out a sharp bark of laughter that's anything but happy. He sounds slightly crazed._

" _ **Josh?"**_ _he asks incredulously. "Josh is_ _ **dead,**_ _Sam. There's no point in going back because there isn't anything to go back_ _ **for.**_ "

" _I know," Sam hisses, "I know that. I just—it doesn't feel right, leaving his body down there. The Washington's have already gone through so much, they at least deserve a body to bury this time." A lump in her throat makes the last of her sentence come out nearly strangled, but it gets out nonetheless and on a night like tonight, she's taking any victory she can get._

 _Mike's lips thin and there's a storm brewing behind his dark eyes. He opens his mouth, no doubt to argue more, but he's interrupted by the sound of the helicopter blades starting up._

" _Time to go!" shouts a ranger, his voice barely coming over the din as he waves them over. Sam and Mike exchange a look before Sam slips by him._

" _I'm not going," Sam calls when she gets to the uniformed man._

 _An arched brow greets her statement and she pretends not to notice when Chris's head snaps up._

" _Yes you are," he tells her, frowning. "You all need immediate medical attention and the boys at the station are going to want to ask you some questions."_

 _Sam doesn't feel like giving the long explanation._

" _One of my friends is still down there, in the mines," she sort of lies, "And I'm not leaving without him."_

 _The man frowns and looks up for a moment, squinting in the early morning sunlight._

" _I can't leave you alone up here," he finally says._

" _She won't be alone."_

 _It's Mike. Of course it's Mike. He's drawn up even with the both of them and while he doesn't look too happy, there's a determined air about him that refused to be disputed._

 _Not that Sam doesn't try._

" _No, Mike—I know you want to get out of here—"_

" _Don't," Mike warns, holding a finger up. "Don't even, Sam. Of course I'm not leaving you. And…" he sighs, crosses his arms, "You're right. We shouldn't leave Josh. Not like this."_

 _Grateful, Sam gives him a ghost of a smile and squeezes his shoulder. As one, they face the ranger._

" _We're staying," Sam informs him._

" _Me too."_

 _Surprised, they all look up to see Chris hopping down._

" _What are you doing?!" is Ashley's panicked cry._

 _Chris looks up at her, looking more serious than Sam's ever seen him._

" _I'm going with them."_

" _Chris—"_

 _He doesn't wait to hear the rest of Ashley's pleas and walks towards the three of them, his expression daring any of them to tell him to go back._

 _Sam wouldn't dream of it, and Mike wisely says nothing, though he throws a troubled glance Ashley's way._

 _The ranger shakes his head._

" _This doesn't sit right with me. But you all look like your mind's made up."_

 _He's right, and they simply wait._

" _If you all insist on going back out, then I'll go with. Someone's gotta keep an eye on you."_

 _The three of them exchange glances, then Chris eyes the ranger speculatively._

" _You got a gun?"_

* * *

 **As if Sam could go back in those mines without Mike feeling obligated to go with. And of course Chris is going! He's probably kicking himself for not thinking of it first. Sam: 15 Chris: 00 Or is it 30? Until Dawn tried to teach me something about tennis, but I didn't learn.**

 **If you want more, review!**


	2. Chapter 1: Sam

**I wrote this chapter so many times, and this version is as good as it gets. It doesn't flow quite like I wanted it to, but I guess it does the job. Please don't judge this story based on this, I promise it gets much better!**

 **Also thank you for the faves and follows! You guys rock! :)**

* * *

 _Sam_

* * *

"Hello?"

" _Hey, Sam."_

"Emily," Sam's voice was warm with welcome and she leaned back in her chair, away from her laptop. "How are you?"

It wasn't a surprise to hear from her, but Sam always felt a tiny bit relieved when Emily called. It meant that there was hope that she could talk Emily around, maybe get the group back together...

Emily snorted, the phone going static-y for a second. " _As good as expected, I guess. Not dead."_

Sam chuckled without much humor.

"Yeah. I know what you mean."

Sam glanced to her bed where Jessica was currently sleeping, her nose just barely peeking over the blanket. Sam crossed her legs and twisted her computer chair to the side, stretching her legs.

" _You free to hang?"_

"Um," Sam stilled and her gaze flickered to Jessica again. She _wanted_ to say yes, just invite Emily over, but…

A tense silence stretched, then, " _Who's there?"_

"...Jessica," Sam admitted, "but that doesn't mean you can't—"

" _Save it,"_ Emily cut her off, her tone glacial. " _Just call me when you're free."_ Click.

"Ugh," Sam groaned. Dismayed and frustrated, she tossed her cell onto her desk and sagged back in the chair, viciously rubbing her eyes. Why couldn't anything ever be simple?

"What's wrong?" Jessica's sleepy voice asked.

Immediately, Sam dropped her hands and turned to the blonde.

Jessica was sitting up, one arm between her legs, the other drowsily rubbing her eye. Her hair was loose from her usual pigtail braids, and the long, mussed hair hid most of the still-healing cuts on her neck and the sides of her face; she looked so adorable Sam had to smile.

"Nothing," Sam reassured her, rising from her seat. Mentioning Emily would either confuse or upset her, depending on what she remembered today, and Sam didn't want her working herself up. "Hungry?"

Jessica yawned and either didn't hear the question, or ignored it.

"Where's Mike? He..." her brow wrinkled as she tried to recall, "He should be here."

"He'll be here soon, don't worry." Sam soothed "Want to watch netflix?"

Jessica smiled, so sweet and innocent Sam felt a strange mixture of protectiveness (because she still wasn't the same and it had been a month) and jealousy (because she could forget).

"Can we watch the Kardashians?"

Sam rolled her eyes good naturedly, smiling as she reached for the remote.

"Hulu it is."

They both got comfortable on Sam's bed and watched the show from the tv atop her dresser where she'd twisted it to face them. She only left two times, once to use the bathroom and again to pick up the pizza she'd had delivered. Jessica had found her appetite by the time it arrived, just like she thought it would, and they stuffed their faces with and laughed until Mike arrived.

"Whoa-ho!" Mike said the moment he let himself in, exaggeratedly sniffing the air. "Is that pizza I smell? Now, surely you ladies saved me some?"

Jessica giggled while Sam rolled her eyes.

"Luckily for you, we graciously saved _two whole slices_ for your royal majesty," she told him graciously, holding out the box.

"I love you ladies, I really do," he confessed, grinning. He snatched the box and Sam watched as he thrust his keys into his pocket and climbed on top of the bed to sit next to Jessica, sandwiching her between them.

"Ah-ah!" Sam reached over to smack Mike leg. "No shoes on the bed!"

"All right, all right, just hold on a second," Mike acquiesced, holding up a palm in mock-surrender. He toed off his boots, then gestured with raised brows. "There, see?"

"He _can_ be taught," Sam exclaimed in mock-awe, and Mike shook his head, looking to Jessica imploringly.

"You see how she treats me, babe? No respect."

Jessica laughed happily, like the tinkling of bells, and leaned close.

"I missed you."

Mike's smile went small and soft.

"I missed you too," he told her. They kissed for a moment. Then Mike reclined against the wall like them and grabbed a slice.

"What are we watching?"

It was nice, just being together with people she cared about. She tried to spend as much time out of the house as possible, but with Jessica and Mike being over so often, Sam found herself most comfortable around them. Her eyes grew heavy and even though she couldn't sleep, it was the most relaxed she'd probably be until their next visit. Jessica, on the other hand, lasted maybe another hour before she was dozing again, warm and content against Mike's chest. When she realized this, she sat up slightly.

"Hey," Sam whispered, "I think she's asleep."

Mike glanced down. "Uh-oh." He gave Jessica's shoulder a little shake. "Jess. Hey, Jess? Time to go, baby."

"Mmmm." Jessica struggled to wake but she eventually pulled herself up, head bobbing as she tried to resist the urge to close her eyes.

Sam rose as Mike did and grabbed Jessica's bag.

"Don't forget this," Sam handed him the backpack and Mike slung the it over one shoulder, holding Jessica's other hand.

"Thanks, Sam. Was she..?"

Sam glanced at Jessica, then lowered her voice to a whisper.

"No nightmares."

"Good." Mike nodded. "Good."

Sam walked them to the front door of her apartment, stifling a yawn of her own. It was pretty late, but she doubted she'd be getting much rest.

Just outside the door, Mike hesitated, a frown creasing his features as he glanced at Sam.

"What?" Sam asked, worry creeping into her tone. Instantly a dozen things popped into her head, none of them good. Lately it seemed like she only got bad news...

"It's nothing like that, Sam, so don't look at me like that," Mike said, sounding exasperated. Beside him, Jessica leaned heavily against his arm, eyes hooded.

Mike looked uncomfortable, and when he spoke, he sounded resigned, as if he already knew what response he would get when he spoke.

"It's just—have you talked to Chris?"

Sam stiffened where she stood, lethargy forgotten.

"Mike—"

"I get that you're mad, but we're still sorta his friends, Josh—"

"Stop!" Her voice wasn't a yell, but it was a near thing. "Just. Stop. I'm not going to see him. I already told Chris that. Several times."

Mike frowned. "Just one time, Sam. Everyone's gone, hell, even _Emily—"_

"It's _not_ happening," Sam told him, her voice like steel.

For a long, tense moment, they glared at one another.

"What's wrong?" Jessica asked, lifting her head. Her green eyes looking between them with confusion and growing concern.

"It's nothing," Mike reassured her, not looking away from Sam. He took in Sam's defensively crossed arms, her glare, and shook his head.

"What are you so afraid of?"

Shock and instant denial made her mouth drop open.

"I'm—"

But Mike didn't stay to hear her reply, simply turned and guided Jessica into his truck and drove away, leaving Sam seething.

It took a few long minutes, but Sam only went inside once she no longer felt like bursting into tears or ripping her own hair out. She went straight to her room (after checking the door lock and alarm twice) where she curled under her blankets with the lights still on.

But no matter how much she tried to clear her mind and sleep, she tossed and turned, hearing Mike's voice echo in her head.

 _What are you so afraid of?_

* * *

 **I keep staying up late at night writing more parts of this story. Also don't think I'm this awesome, super-fast update-r, because this story is a rare exception. I'm just deep in Until Dawn hell right now and my main motivation is knowing people are actually interested in reading this. If you want more, or have suggestions (that I would love to hear, although I pretty much have this whole thing planned out), let me know!**

 **Thank you for reading!**


	3. DAWN, one month ago: The Mines

**I really tried to wait to post this, I really did. But it was there, it was ready-why not?**

* * *

 _DAWN, one month ago: The Mines_

* * *

 _The mines are silent but for their footfalls._

 _The ranger, Officer Roy, he'd introduced himself as, had tried to ask a few questions before, but the combined glares of the three of them had clued him in to use discretion when speaking. He looks confused and irritated, but Sam's only thankful he doesn't feel the need to assert his authority over a bunch of kids. Maybe it's the knowing look in their eyes. Maybe it's the blood._

 _When they pass an archway that has a jaw—just the bone, the teeth still there—lying casually on the ground, the officer goes ashen. The sound of metal sliding on leather comes, then the echoing click of him switching the safety off his gun; Sam doesn't worry about him anymore._

 _Sam and Mike lead the way. They've both gone this trail before, and while Mike has the most experience dealing with the wendigos, Sam has the light, she's quick to adapt, and she's fast. They make a good team._

 _Officer Roy and Chris make disparaging sounds when they get to the pool of water, and Sam silently agrees, though there's nothing to be done. Mike looks paler, the sweat shining on his forehead. The way he eyes the water is unsettling but Sam decides not to ask him what he's remembering. He visibly takes a deep breath and is the first to sink in._

 _Sam follows and_ _ **sonuvabitch**_ _the water is somehow_ _ **colder**_ _and she has to sink her teeth into her lip_ _ **hard**_ _just to keep the shriek down._

 _She wades forward and hears a splash behind her, then "Fuuuuu-huuuuuuck!" Chris hisses. She takes a moment to pity him, just because he has the most layers and by the time they get back to civilization, he'll probably be courting frostbite._

 _Following Mike like ducklings, they make it to the other end. Pulling herself out of the pool feels more exhausting than it should, and it's only then that Sam comprehends not just everything they've been through that night, but for how_ _ **long.**_ _The only time any of them have slept was when they were knocked out; hardly restful. Sam dreams of her bed and never, ever getting back up._

 _They wait for Officer Roy and Chris to rise from the pool, and while Mike moves ahead, Sam holds out cautioning hands._

" _Look, there's something up ahead that's going to...disturb you," she warns them. "Just, try not to freak out."_

 _She's looking at Officer Roy for most of this speech, but it's Chris she's looking at when she's done, because he'll recognize the body._

" _What...what is it?" Chris asks, eyes darting to Mike who's scoping out the open doorway ahead of them._

" _It's...a body," Sam says quietly. "And his...head."_

 _Chris sucks in a sharp breath, recognition dawning in his eyes, and the officer beside him frowns heavily._

" _A body?"_

 _Sam nods, then turns and leads them, hardening her heart against the horrific sight she knows that's waiting for her._

 _She averts her eyes when she passes the Stranger's head, following Mike, and while she's hears nothing from Chris, the Officer stumbles._

" _Jesus Christ…" He mutters, horrified._

 _Inside the small shaft of wooded space, the headless body swings idly on its chain._

" _Oh, God," Chris moans. Sam turns in time to see him averting his gaze to the ground angrily, fists clenched. She walks to him and lightly rests her hand on his, so that he looks at her. The turmoil is clear on his face, and she swallows, squeezing._

" _We have to keep moving," she tells him. "Just...try not to focus on it. Think of Josh."_

 _That does the trick, and Chris steels himself, giving the body one last glance before he's away, walking quickly to catch up to where Mike waits for them._

 _Sam starts to follow but a heavy hand on her shoulder keeps her from joining them. Officer Roy looking at her with wide eyes. He looks ill._

" _Who did this?"_

 _Sam is instantly hit with the realization that all of their problems will be far from over when (if) they get to safety. They'll be questioned, of course, but it is only now that she comprehends how difficult it will be. What will they say? People abandoned on the mountain became mutated and hunted down_ _ **other**_ _people? It sounds far-fetched at best, and suspicious at most._

 _Sam looks at the officer hopelessly._

" _A monster," she says finally, and walks away._

 _Before, Josh had been just on the other side of the makeshift wall, hallucinating wildly and stumbling around. Now, he's nowhere to be seen, which makes their search that much harder. More than once, they take a path that dead ends and each failure makes Sam's grip on her sanity strain tighter, ears straining for one of those terrifying screeches, eyes dreadfully looking for either a body or thin, contorting limbs._

 _Twenty minutes, thirty, an hour pass, and just when Sam's starts to believe their search is pointless, the tunnel begins to brighten. Just the sight of it makes them hurry their pace, if for no other reason than a whiff of fresh air before the once again plunge into the darkness of the mines._

 _What they come to is another dead end, but it stretches up, up, and light from the surface pours in and illuminates the stalactites and slick rocks, the dust in the air._

 _Crumpled at the base, as if he'd been tossed aside like trash, is Josh's body._

 _Sam gasps sharply and covers her mouth. Her eyes burn. Mike's expression is sickened and tired as he mutters, "Goddammit," but Chris' horrified chant of "No, no, no, no, nononono," is the loudest._

 _Sam had thought she was prepared, but she's wrong. Hot tears pour down her face as she watches Chris run to Josh and fall to his knees beside him, his hands darting out and stopping just short of touching him, hesitant and afraid. She has to look away, wishing reality wasn't so cruel._

" _Oh, God."_

 _Mike's arms wrap around her and she sinks into the comfort, her mind a tumultuous riot of bitterness, anger, and mournful sorrow. Nothing about tonight was fair, but this is the worst._

" _Wait, wait!" Chris urgently calls, and Sam twists with Mike to see._

 _Chris' lowered head is inches from Josh's now upturned face, where a track of blood clearly runs from beneath his hairline to his chin. His ear hovers over Josh's parted lips, then he straightens, snatches up Josh's hand, and presses his fingers down firmly on the inside of his wrist._

" _He's—he's alive," Chris, dumbfounded, looks at them._

" _What?" Sam asks, stunned as Mike starts, "How—?"_

 _But Sam stops listening there, runs over and fall to her knees at Josh's head opposite Chris. Just as hesitantly as Chris, she digs her finger underneath his jaw, searching for a pulse—and tears up again when she finds one._

" _Oh, thank God," she sighs, sagging._

" _He must have been knocked out," Chris suggests, finger hovering over the blood trail._

" _Josh!" Sam gingerly shook Josh by the shoulders. "Josh, wake up!" Still nothing. Sam slaps his cheek, as gingerly as she can, and Josh groans. It a wonderful sound._

" _Come on, man," Chris joins in, giving Josh a shake as well. "It's time to go."_

 _Josh's eyes flutter, and he stares straight up, into the light. He's clearly not with them, not yet._

" _Josh? Are you okay? Can you hear me?" Sam tries for calm and misses by a mile._

 _Light green eyes meet hers as his head sluggishly rolls._

" _...Sam?" His voice is hoarse, like he's been screaming. Still, he's speaking. He's alive._

" _Yeah, yeah, it's me, Sam," she finds herself saying uselessly, reaching down to grasp his hand in hers. He blinks, then gives her hand the slightest squeeze back. It makes her breath catch._

" _Jesus, man, you scared the shit outta me," Chris accuses sharply, the wobble in his voice betraying his relief._

 _Josh's head twists to him. "Chris…? What—Where are we? What's—_ _ **ugh…"**_ _Josh grasps his head, right above his injury, and flinches at the contact._

" _Easy," Sam cautions, moving his hand away._

" _Here, let's get you up," Chris tells him and he snakes an arm beneath Josh's shoulders, raising him into a sitting position._

 _Mike comes near and crouches by Sam and Josh looks between the of them, the honest confusion clear._

" _Wha...What are you all doing here?"_

 _A heartbeat of silence—as they stare at Josh, and Josh stares back._

" _What are we—?! We came to get you, man!" Chris exclaims, bewildered._

" _We sure as fuck aren't here for the sights," Mike agrees, a hint of smile on his face. Sam smiles and nods her head when Josh looks to her._

 _Dazed, Josh seems to reel from this._

" _I—I thought…" he trails off, eyes falling to his hands. They're dirty, crusted with blood and dirt. "I thought I was alone," he finishes, and his voice is so small, so lost and hurt and scared, that Sam's body moves of it's own volition. Her arms go around his shoulders and she can't help but feel like this is an entirely selfish hug, more for the reassurance that Josh is real and solid against her than for his comfort._

 _A breath later, Chris' arms go around both of them._

" _You're not alone, buddy," Chris tells him, voice rough with emotion. "We're not leaving without you."_

 _Slowly, falteringly, as if he's afraid to believe in what is happening, Josh's arms come up to grasp at both of them. He heaves a deep, unsteady exhale._

" _Thank you," he whispers, pulling them closer. "Thank you."_

* * *

 **This story was SO close to being a Chris/Sam/Josh story, I s2g. I literally had to remind myself like, seven times that it wasn't. I've already listed Chris/Ashley as a pairing and that's how it's going to stay. Maybe next time...**

 **Well, if you guys _want_ a next time. If you do, review and let me know! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 2: Emily

_Emily_

* * *

"Wow. You look like shit."

The smile on Sam's face turned into a scowl. Amused, Emily's smile grew wider and she leaned back in her chair, arms crossed with self-satisfaction. She knew Sam's default setting was Nice, but she always felt quite accomplished when she could make the blonde look a little less perfect. Not because she was bitter or jealous; she was a little more mature than _that_. Just sometimes it just got exhausting watching Sam pretend that everything was hunky-dory.

"Thanks," Sam said sarcastically. She settled into the free seat at Emily's table and slid her purse from her shoulder, hanging it on the back of her chair.

It was mid afternoon, and the restaurant— _Bar Bouchon_ —wasn't too packed yet. Perfect for two girls to catch up, gossip, and, in Emily's case apparently, lay out some inconvenient facts.

"Well, it's the truth," Emily insisted, worried despite herself as she took in her friend. "Those are some serious bags underneath your eyes. Are you going through a vampire phase?"

Sam's glare intensified as she sat and Emily just looked right back, unphased.

"I'm _fine_ , Emily. Just had a late night."

"Uh-huh," Emily commented, her voice dripping with disbelief.

Before she could press the issue, their waiter arrived.

"The salmon bisque and a salad for me," Emily ordered straight away, "And an ice water. With lemon."

"Um," Sam picked up the menu and gave it a half-hearted look over. "The...same, I guess. Water for me, too, please."

Emily could see that the restaurant made Sam a little uncomfortable, awkward even. But Emily didn't settle for anything less than the best in everything that she chose, no matter what. She supposed they did contrast a bit, two young college girls casually dining when all around them where business executives and their pretty assistants, all dressed in five-grand suits and three-hundred dollar pocket squares. But they were pricks and Emily couldn't care less what they thought.

"So," Emily continued as soon as the waiter was gone, "What's new?"

"Wellllll," Sam said slowly, thinking, "I'm back in school." She gave Emily a little smile, shrugging. "No big deal, just some online classes, but it's something, you know? I just...I'm done putting my life on hold."

"That's great, Sam," she congratulated her. "Really," Emily stressed, so that Sam looked at her properly, "Good for you."

And she meant it. That had been her attitude from the moment she'd come back from Blackwood. She'd talked to the shrink they'd thrown at her, told them fuck you when she'd been prescribed uppers, and was back in school that Tuesday. Yeah, she'd been handed a really shitty deal, and yes, she'd had to switch all her night classes to day one's because walking back to her car at night brought some really intense flashbacks, but she could deal. If she stayed at home all day, just lying around and _thinking_ about it she'd go crazy.

"Your waters, ladies," The waiter suddenly interrupted, lifting the glasses off his tray. Emily took hers while Sam thanked him, perfectly polite smile right back in place. Emily sighed quietly and sipped her water while they 'thank you'd' and 'you're welcomed', trying not to gag at how picturesque it was.

"What about you?" Sam asked when the waiter left. She idly stirred the lemon in her water around with her straw. "Anything new?"

"Mm," Emily took another sip, considering. "Not much, really. School's fine, and my parent's stopped trying to make me go to counseling, thank God. It was getting so annoying."

"You _should_ talk to someone," Sam said gently.

Emily rolled her eyes. "I already talk to you, so I don't really see the point."

"I'm not a professional."

 _"Ugh._ Screw that. I have better things to do than spend a couple hundred dollars talking about how I _feel_ with some asshole." Emily tucked a stray lock of hair back behind her ear and scowled, fingers tapping agitatedly on the tables surface. "Honestly, I don't even want to think about it. It's over."

Something she said must have struck a nerve with Sam because she looked so freaking sad and _disappointed_ , and anyone who knew Sam for more than five minutes knew that her look of disappointment was _legendary_ , and the fact that it was _actually_ working pissed Emily off.

Luckily, Sam's opportunity to push the issue was interrupted by the arrival of their food and Emily straightened gratefully, shaking off the bad mood that was starting to settle around her like a blanket.

For a few minutes, the only sounds between them were the metallic clinks of their utensils against porcelain and the low, murmured conversations of the people around them. Miraculously, the silence wasn't the least bit awkward. Sam and Emily had never been close, but they'd been friendly enough, and in the wake of Blackwood, Sam was the only one Emily really trusted anymore. All the time they'd spent together meant that Sam knew when and when not to take offence to what she said. It was a relief, especially since Sam was a quick learner, because Emily was extremely short on friendly faces these days.

Not that she cared. Good riddance.

Ugh. Now that she was thinking about _them_ her mood soured, like it _always_ did, and now that she'd started, she couldn't stop.

Emily scowled and leaned back in her seat. She could tell that Sam was looking at her, curiously, but she didn't meet her eyes.

"I forgot to tell you," Emily started, struggling to sound unaffected, "Matt's still texting me."

"Oh, yeah?" Sam's expression was cautiously hopeful when Emily glanced at her.

"He's wasting his time." There was that _damn_ look again. Emily focused on her food. She'd had better. "I mean, how many times does a girl have to say _'fuck off'_ before he gets the message?" She punctuated the end of her sentence with a few vicious stabs at her salad.

"He cares about you, Em," Sam insisted, _her_ food quite forgotten. "And he's worried."

Unfortunately, Emily couldn't argue that. Matt had made it abundantly clear just how much he cared and Emily...Emily wasn't ready for that.

"Well, he can _stop_ worrying, I'm fine. I'm not some scared little girl who needs his protection."

"It's not like that and you know it," Sam reprimanded. She leaned closer, beseeching. "Just talk to him. It would be good for you, for both of you. And," Sam's expression turned pleading, "Matt's not the only one who'd like to see you again. The others—"

Emily laughed. It wasn't a happy sound.

 _"Please._ Really, Sam? You know that's not happening. And isn't that a little hypocritical of you? You still won't go see Josh."

Sam went from open and pleading to defensive in a second.

"That's different—"

"It's really not," Emily interrupted, giving Sam her patented, _'Seriously?'_ look. "I don't know why you aren't talking to Josh and I don't care. That's your business, just like not talking to the other's is mine. I know you're just trying to get us all back together so we can all sing kumbaya and pretend last month didn't happen, but I'm _not. Interested._ And don't expect me to kiss and makeup when you can't even follow your own advice."

Emily crossed her arms, staring back frankly at Sam as she watched first the surprise, then anger, then defeat and finally the acceptance on her face. Sam's shoulders slumped and she ran a hand through her blonde hair, looking off to the side and out the window.

"You're right," she said helplessly after a long pause. "I am a hypocrite. It's just—I can't—I can't _deal_ with that. Not yet. I _will,"_ Sam promised firmly, "But…not yet." Sam trailed off, her expression pinched and uncomfortable as she settled for looking down at her hands, tightly clenched together on top of the table.

Heart bleeding, because while she liked irritating Sam she didn't like to see her genuinely upset, Emily reached over and covered Sam's hands with her own.

"Forget everything else," Emily counseled, "Do this on your own time. There's no rush, and it's not like Josh doesn't have other people in his life to take care of him. If you're not ready, then you're not ready." When some of the tension left Sam's shoulders, Emily leaned back, satisfied. "And quit looking like the world's about to end. You're making me feel like I kicked a puppy or something."

Sam laughed, and, well, as embarrassing as it was to admit, Emily felt better for it.

Gross. Sam was definitely rubbing off on her.

They called for a check and moved outside, taking a few minutes to simply talk a bit more. When they finally said their goodbyes, hugging, Sam pulled back and held Emily at arms length.

"Despite me being a hypocrite, I want you to think, just _think,"_ Sam stressed when Emily rolled her eyes, "about talking to Matt. Just a text, that's it, okay? Just so he knows you're still alive."

"Whatever," Emily responded noncommittally, looking away. Sam smiled.

"This time next week?"

"Yeah. See ya."

"Peace!" Sam called, waving as she walked away. Emily waved back and shook her head when Sam turned the corner. Sam was nothing if not persistent, she'd give her that.

It felt way too early to go home and she and Sam had gotten pretty serious when they'd talked; a therapeutic shopping spree was definitely in order. However, she'd gone no further than three feet when her phone vibrated.

And what was flashing insistently when she looked at her cell's screen? Matt.

Heart thumping and lips pursing, Emily reluctantly unlocked her phone to view the message.

 _hey, em how's it goin? just got outta practice, thinking bout you. hope ur doing ok._

Emily could feel herself blushing and hated her body for betraying her like that. It had been a month and even though she never responded Matt seemed hell-bent on not giving up. It was stupid. And so irritating.

Just a text, Sam had said, and Emily hesitated, her thumb hovering over the reply button—

 _Matt's arms hold her tight, squeezing to the point of being painful but she doesn't think to tell him to stop, only fists her hands in that dumb letterman's jacket of his and buries her face in his chest, trying not to cry as he rocks her gently._

 _"I'm so sorry," he apologizes for the eighth time in five minutes, voice rough, "I thought I lost you, God, I thought you were gone—_

Shivering, Emily locks her phone and tucks it into her purse.

Like Sam, she's just not ready.


	5. MORNING, one month ago

_MORNING, one month ago_

* * *

 _It's Mike who gets them moving again, worried about one guest too many being attracted by their noise. He and Chris get Josh up, arms over shoulders, and they make the slow, painstaking way back the way they came._

 _Because Officer Roy has a weapon he takes point, gun out and at the ready, held just at waist level. Sam brings up the rear, eyes torn between every shadow in the mines and Josh's stumbling form suspended between friends._

 _Josh is silent, and it's a worrying silence beyond merely keeping his mouth closed. She can see how Mike and Chris murmur in his ear and exchange worried frowns when he doesn't answer. Josh has retreated from them, someplace within, and Sam's heart is clenched tightly by worry and fear. Have they come all this way just to lose him now?_

 _Things are quiet until they reach the body, hanging up high and swaying slightly by some phantom breeze._

 _"Noooo," Josh moans, head lolling to one side then the other in sluggish denial. Louder, he cries, "No more! No, no, noooo! Stop...stop it! Leave me alone!"_

 _Chris and Mike both stumble from the sudden force of Josh's thrashing._

 _"Dude, chill!" Mike commands, struggling to keep a grip. "Damn it, don't start this!"_

 _"Josh! Josh, calm down!" Chris is trying to get Josh's attention, trying to tug him back into place. In response, Josh pushes them both away, stumbling, and his eyes dart all over wildly, his terror clear. He looks seconds from bolting._

 _They're too loud. Any wendigo within a mile is bound to hear them and the thought makes icy fear shoot through her veins. Their only protection is their wits and a ranger who has no idea what he's in for. If this doesn't stop soon, this rescue is going to end very quickly._

 _Realizing the futility of just shouting at Josh, Sam quickly moves in front of him._

 _"Josh!" Sam's hands hold Josh's cheeks, her fingers going into his hair as she forces his confused eyes to meet hers. "Focus on **me** , Josh," she urges. "What you're seeing, it's not real, okay? But I **am**. Focus on me."_

 _He starts to shake his head, an automatic denial, but Sam won't hear it. She looks away long enough to find his hand, then she grasps it in hers, squeezing hard._

 _"Do you feel that?" She's practically crushing his fingers and Josh winces. "This is real, Josh. We're all real. So I need you to quit fighting us, all right? We're on your side."_

 _Josh blinks rapidly, and his internal struggle to find reality is clear to everyone. His head gives a small, aborted shake._

 _"You're real," he echoes, comprehension bleeding into his gaze. "You're real." His eyes slide shut suddenly and he takes a deep, deep breath. When his eyes open again, they're mostly clear of fear, and determined. "I'm okay."_

 _Relieved, Sam exchanges tired smiles with the guys and leads them to the underground lake they came from._

 _The sight of it makes Josh's hard-won lucidity crumble around him._

 _"No, no," he protests, looking at the water with full-blown terror. "She'll get me, she'll get me!"_

 _He tries to yank his hand from Sam's but she denies him, grips him tightly and steps close. She places a grounding hand on his cheek and makes him look down at her and not the water._

 _"I'll protect you, Josh," she promises, her voice like steel. "Look at me," she insists when his eyes start to slide from hers. She gives him a shake and he focuses back on her, expression heart-breakingly fragile. "I'm not going to let anything hurt you. Just don't let go, okay?"_

 _Josh's eyes devour hers with all the desperation of a drowning man. He licks his lips._

 _"O-okay. Yeah. Okay."_

 _Thankfully, he sounds more like the old Josh, the real Josh, and Sam darts a glance to where the others are watching them with bated breath. Mike gives her a nod and Chris smiles encouragingly. Officer Roy looks like he regrets ever going with them into these god-forsaken mines._

 _"All right," Sam says. She releases Josh's hand long enough to sit at the edge of the pool, then holds out her hand to him, waiting patiently. Josh swallows but moves to sit beside her nonetheless. He takes her hand and his grip is tight enough that she's sure there will be bruises. She grips back just as hard. "Ready?"_

 _A bead of sweat slides down Josh's face from temple to chin. He very deliberately exhales, long and slow, and strokes his thumb against the back of Sam's hand. Her heart constricts._

 _"Ready."_

 _The plunge is unforgivingly frigid and Sam's entire body locks up from the sudden shock. Beside her Josh sucks in a sharp breath._

 _"Ohhhh-kay," Sam says shakily, giving herself a chance to adjust. "Let's go."_

 _Sam leads the way, Josh keeping pace, although she has to pull on his arm a bit when they're halfway through. His mouth opens, then shuts again and he shakes his head._

 _The others follow just behind and when Sam glances back, to give the others a thumbs up to assure them Josh is doing fine, a sound stops her._

 _It's the unmistakable screeching howl of a wendigo._

 _"Fuck!" Chris and Mike swear simultaneously and then everyone's nearly running, wading as fast as possible and hauling themselves up and out of the water, feeling their chances of survival increase when solid ground is back under their feet._

 _"We gotta go," Mike jogs ahead, scopes out the tunnel, and waves them forward. "Let's move!"_

 _Chris comes on Josh's other side and takes his free hand. He and Sam look at each other and something passes between them, an understanding; nothing is taking Josh from them. Chris lips twitch, quirk up, and Sam mirrors it._

 _Then they're running. At least in this, Josh doesn't need help, and perhaps their urgency pushes through his on and off again hallucinations, because he doesn't yell, doesn't try to shake them off, just moves. A quick glance at his face shows Sam how deathly pale his face is, how he somehow looks gaunt even though it's only been a few hours. Worry doesn't even begin to describe how she feels, but she has to concentrate on the now so that there can be a later where they can try to fix this horrible, fucked-up situation._

 _They don't stop until they reach the way they came, an elevator directly below the mining facility. The pile in and Mike flips the lever the second they're all safely inside._

 _The wendigo's screeching grows more and more distant the higher they climb (thank God) and Sam's breathing comes a little easier. The sound of her sigh draws Josh's attention and when she notices his concern, she gives him a fragile little smile._

 _"We're safe," she tells him and he watches her speak as if he's never seen lips before._

 _"Safe," he repeats quietly. He looks forward as the lift come to a stop. "We're safe." He loosens his grip on her then clutches again even tighter._

 _"I think we're good," Mike says after walking a bit ahead. He still insists on taking point with Officer Roy at the rear, but no one's arguing._

 _Now that they're outside, Officer Roy radios their position and tells them that a return helicopter is already in-bound and the rendezvous is only a few minutes away. He's greeted with relieved cheers and fist-bumps from Chris and Mike, and a heartfelt thank you from Sam. Josh even smiles._

 _The hike is nice compared to what they've all been through. There's no immediately impending sense of doom and no one's being forced to face the weight of their own mortality. Just a little ahead, Mike and Chris are in deep discussion with the officer, although Chris looks back periodically to check on Josh._

 _"How are you feeling?" Sam asks, unable to help herself. Before, she would have prided herself on at least being able to guess how Josh was feeling but now things are so different…_

 _"How am I feeling?" Josh echoes slowly, eyes on his shoes as they crunch in the snow. "Terrible. Confused." He looks at Sam, distressed. "Is this real?" he asks, almost begging. He stops walking and Sam has no choice but to do so as well; they haven't stopped holding hands. His other hand comes up and he strokes his knuckles very lightly down the side of her face. "Are you real? I thought I knew, but I can't—I can't tell anymore."_

 _Sam's heart feels like it's shattering into a million pieces and bleeding all at the same time. She very suddenly wants to cry for her friend but knows that tears won't help anything, not now. Instead, she lightly curls her hand around Josh's wrist and forces the unsteadiness from her voice._

 _"I'm real. This is all real. We're going home."_

 _Josh nods his head, eyes sliding shut and brow furrowing._

 _"All right. I believe you. I trust you."_

 _"You guys okay?"_

 _Sam, blinking rapidly, twists to see Chris and the others paused a small distance away, watching them with varying degrees of caution and nervousness. Sam clears her throat._

 _"We're good," she calls back. She trudges forward and pulls Josh along with her and, together, they all make it to rendezvous where their transport is already landing at the top of the hill in a small clearing, whipping up icy air that snatches at their clothes._

 _They four of them climb into the back of the helicopter while Officer Roy takes the co-pilot's seat. Sam and Josh end up sitting together with Chris and Mike opposite. She puts on her safety belt because there's no way in hell she made it through everything that happened last night to die from falling out of a helicopter. Josh is quiet again, distant, so Sam reaches over and buckles him in, giving the straps an experimental tug to make sure he's secure._

 _With that done, Sam sags back in her seat, truly and thoroughly exhausted. She tiredly rubs at her eyes and mentally bids Blackwood Pines the most final of farewells._

 _A touch on her leg brings her from her thoughts and Sam sees that's it's Josh, his palm resting above her knee. She turns her head and Josh is watching her, concerned._

 _Suddenly, she remembers that those eyes have watched her a lot tonight. Through camera lenses and in person, and she shivers, for the first time feeling real...not fear, something closer to helplessness and despair, all of it coiled together in weariness and frustration and a thousand other emotions she can't even begin to process. How had she never noticed…?_

 _Weary, Sam places her hand over Josh's, heedless of the knowing look Chris and Mike share, and pats it._

 _"We'll be okay," she says, the words like ash in her mouth as her eyes slide shut._

 _Josh's warm hand in her own, all she can think is: How could this happen?_

 _How could she **let** this happen?_


	6. Josh

_Josh_

* * *

It was Friday, which meant it was Mike and Jessica's turn to babysit.

The thought was perhaps a little ungrateful, but that didn't make it any less true. Usually Chris came over, but Friday was date night. So Mike and Jessica it was. Which meant he should _probably_ make an effort to seem normal, even though he felt far from it.

Josh should talk. He _knew_ this. His reluctance to speak up had led to this whole mess in the first place—he knew this.

But. It was just so damn _hard_. Everyone had been so good to him, bending over backwards to make sure he was never alone for too long, always near a friendly face. How was he supposed to look into their kind, patiently supporting faces and say, _'It's not enough'?_

He didn't even know _why_ it wasn't enough. All he knew was that he'd be looking at Chris, or talking with Jessica, or joking with Mike, and he'd suddenly feel this _distance_. As if trying to have what they had—their normalcy, their happiness—was so beyond him that any attempt otherwise was an exercise in futility.

But he could barely put the concept into a thought, let alone words that anyone else would understand and help him with. So he took his pills, took more for the inevitable headache, and dressed. He had a smile in place for Mike and Jessica when they got to his door, and hated himself for the lie.

"Come on in, guys," Josh greeted, holding the door wide open.

"Hey, Josh," Jessica greeted first, a beautiful smile on her scarred features. She gave him a hug in greeting and moved inside so Mike could clasp his hand.

"Hey, man. What's up?"

"Nothin' much," Josh answered around a wide yawn. "Sorry. Just woke up."

Mike and Jessica gave him incredulous looks.

"Dude, it's three o'clock."

Josh shrugged as he shut the door. Time didn't really mean much to him these days. He slept when he slept.

Ignoring the concerned looks aimed at him, Josh shuffled away past the foyer and into the living room where he collapsed bonelessly onto the couch. He shifted to his back and stretched his arm out far enough to swipe the tv remote from the coffee table, and settled in for some channel surfing while Mike and Jessica made themselves at home.

"Your folks out?" Mike called from the kitchen, and Josh's expression darkened.

"What else is new?" he muttered.

"What?"

"Yeah," Josh responded, raising his voice and aiming for as disaffected as possible. "They're in Miami or something." His response was met with low whispering and Josh's thumb stabbed at the remote. Thirty-two-hundred channels and still nothing on.

A few minutes later a groan from Mike made Josh glance over to see him and Jessica settling together on the other couch. Mike was balancing two plates with sandwiches perched precariously on them and a bag of chips. Jessica was already seated and held her arms out eagerly for the food, grinning and making grabby hands. Mike handed over her plate with a soft smile.

Josh looked away quickly, squashing down the dark envy that settled in the pit of his stomach. He could care less about the food; it wasn't like he could eat all of the crap his parents left him anyways and letting the others bum food made him feel a little better about everything they did for him.

No, it was the affection. It was probably the only thing he disliked about the visits. Mike and Jess were so clearly in love it was physically painful to witness it. Once, he'd thought he'd been close to that, had even dared to hope for it—

Josh shifted, suddenly uncomfortable, and tried to push it from his mind. He hardly needed the reminder that Sam wanted nothing to do with him. Her absence spoke louder than anything.

"As fun as it is watching you look at every single channel, what are the odds of you picking something this year?"

Mike's voice pierced Josh's depressing thoughts and he started slightly. He hadn't even realized he was still pressing the button. Tiredly, he sat up and ran a hand over his face.

"Here," he said, standing. He tossed the remote to Mike who scrambled to put his sandwich down in time to do a fumbling catch. He glared at Josh but Josh was so far beyond teasing with the mood he was in he just ignored it as he walked by. "Just put on whatever. I need a drink."

"You sure about that, man?" Mike's worry was practically tangible. Josh huffed a laugh and waved a hand over his shoulder.

"It's fine," he assured them as his socked feet hit the chilled tile of the kitchen floor, "Just having one."

With his back to his friends, Josh allowed his face to show some of his internal struggle, the frustration and guilt and sadness.

God, he missed her.

Rubbing at his neck, Josh retrieved a glass from the top cabinet in the kitchen and knelt down to the cabinets at ground level just beside the fridge to fetch the liquor.

If there was one thing he was grateful to his parents for, it was that they were never short on alcohol and weren't around often enough to keep track of it. Josh's hand reached for a bottle of Jack, but even as his fingers curled around the bottle he remembered—

 _waking up to urgent hands, a panicked voice telling him he had to wake up, Hannah and Beth are gone, they still haven't come back and it's been hours, Josh struggles to waken, his vision is so blurry he can barely see and the first thing that comes into focus is the tipped, drained-dry bottle of whiskey—_

Josh sucked in a sharp breath, going stock-still as the memory assaulted him. His arm dropped and he had to take a moment to simply breathe, to do as Dr. Hill had told him. _Don't let your memories control you,_ he'd said.

"Goddammit," he muttered, and then he skipped the whiskey and grabbed the tequila instead.

His hands were unsteady pouring but he got it inside the glass without spilling and that's all that counted. He didn't stop until the glass was halfway full and then he threw it back, counting on it to chase the memories away.

It was fucking disgusting, but it _was_ straight tequila, so no surprise there. He still chugged it down until he'd drained the glass dry, and he took deep, heaving gulps of air when he was done, staring down into the cup as if it would solve all his problems.

Nope. The bad feelings were all still there, but with alcohol in his system he could feel them growing stronger, laughing at his attempts to drown them out. His eyes darted to the bottle again. Maybe another…?

A soft hand went over his and stopped him mid-reach, and he flinched, snatching his hand away as he spun to face the intruder.

It was Jessica, watching him with brows furrowed and a worried frown on her lips. She said nothing, just watched him, and Josh slowly relaxed, ashamed of himself.

He set the glass back on the counter and screwed the lid back on the tequila.

"Sorry," he murmured, putting the bottle away.

Jessica placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and when he looked up, she was smiling at him, not with pity, but with understanding. It immediately made the last of his tension fade away.

"Come on," she ushered him back towards the living room, "Help me pick a channel. If we let Mike have his way we'll end up watching old football games all day."

"And what's wrong with that?" Mike yelled indignantly, eyes glued to the game on the large flatscreen.

"Nothing, sweetie," Jessica said in a sickly-sweet tone and she sauntered over to sit beside her boyfriend. She slid in next to him and traced a pattern on his arm, slowly inching higher. Josh simply shook his head as he settled back in his seat and stretched his legs out before him. "Only that it's incredibly boring and it kind of makes me want to blow my brains out."

"Hey—!"

Quick as a flash, Jessica darted forward and snatched the remote from Mike, laughing.

"Project Runway it is," she announced smugly, switching the channel.

"Oh, so that's how it is?" Mike asked, his annoyed tone ruined by the smile on his face.

"Yup."

"But baaaaaaaabe," Mike moaned, "You _always_ get to pick what we watch! It's not fair!"

"That's not true!" Jessica replied indignantly. Mike rolled his eyes and leaned towards Josh, cupping a hand around his mouth.

"Don't let those beautiful hazel eyes fool you," he told Josh in mock-confidence. "Just the other day she made me watch the _Kardashians_ ," and here Mike shuddered in horror while Jessica rolled her eyes, "It was awful. Thank God Sam ordered pizza or—"

Mike broke off his sentence, suddenly looking awkward, and Jessica's playful expression morphed into surprise, then concern. They both looked surreptitiously at Josh, guilty, as if unable to help themselves.

Josh looked away from them and stared blindly at the tv screen, feeling a sudden lump in his throat. Of course everyone was aware that Sam hadn't bothered to visit Josh since they'd made it back to California. And in response Josh knew they'd tried not to bring her up around him, for fear they'd be rubbing it in his face. Sometimes he was grateful for it, other times it was worse than them talking about her because she became this silent, heavy presence, quietly haunting him and plaguing him with doubt and regret.

If he didn't say anything, they could move on. Mike or Jessica would change the subject and they could all pretend it never happened. He couldn't take back his reaction, the way he'd stilled and given Mike his full attention at her name, but, again, they'd pretend for him.

Instead, as if the words were ripped from him against his will, he asked, very quietly and _definitely_ not making eye contact, "...How is she?"

It made him feel fucking pathetic, how he couldn't help but ask, to need to know how she is, to cling to any bit of information he could get. Every day was an exercise in restraint when all he wanted to do was ask for every little detail of her life, what she was doing, _is she happy?_

Perhaps he should've been more bitter, angry even. She had promised to be there and she'd lied to him, _just like everyone else always did_. And some days he did get angry. When he was alone he'd rage, hot tears burning from the stinging rejection of dozens of ignored calls and texts; his room was always a complete mess when he calmed down.

But he could never stay mad, not at her. Sam...Sam was so much better than him, in every way. If she wanted a life free of Josh, frankly, she _deserved_ it.

Josh wasn't good for her.

Mike and Jessica exchanged apprehensive looks.

"She's uh, she's good," Mike said, straightening where he sat. He shrugged. "She moved out of her mom's place. Living in an apartment about…" Mike thought for a moment, "Ten? Fifteen minutes from her old place? She seems okay." He exchanged a glance with Jessica and frowned. "Me and Jess are pretty worried about her, actually," Mike admitted lowly.

Josh tensed, his own feelings drowned out with worry.

"She looks sick," Jessica admitted quietly, letting her head rest on Mike's shoulder. Mike's arm went around her and hugged her briefly before she continued. "I don't think she's slept since we came back."

Josh opened his mouth but hesitated. What could he say? He hoped she felt okay? That was lackluster at best and Sam deserved better than that. The thought of her alone at night, in pain, made his heart ache for her. For some reason, he never considered that Sam was hurting, that she wasn't out with friends, smiling, enjoying life. He wished he could see her, to hold her, to make everything better.

But he couldn't. She probably hated him.

Josh swallowed around that thought, despising how it always affected him. He had earned Sam's hatred. He just had to live with it.

"Hey," Mike removed his arm from around Jessica and scooted up to the edge of his seat, elbows backed on knees as he leaned closer to Josh. "You alright, man? I know you don't like talking about her, but—"

"It's fine," Josh said, making a dismissive gesture with his hand. "I'm not going to break down just because Sam hates me now."

"Whoa—" Mike started but Jessica interrupted, scooting forward in her seat, too.

"That's not true," Jessica insisted. "I know it's not! And you do too."

Surprised, Josh gave Jessica an incredulous look that morphed into anger when he realized she was being serious. "How would I know that, Jess?" he asked, pissed. "She won't talk to me! The only thing I know is that she doesn't want anything to do with me."

Restless and angry, Josh lurched up from his seat and paced, grasping fistfuls of hair before running his hands through the strands, searching for calm.

Gently, Jessica asked, "Did you apologize to her, Josh?"

Josh froze. How many times had he tried? Calls, texts, even Facebook messages; so many he'd lost count. She refused to see him now and even back then, that last day one month ago, he'd tried his damnedest but she'd gotten this look on her face, as if she couldn't bear to hear the words…

Josh exhaled slowly, his arms falling to rest listlessly at his sides.

"No," he confessed, grimacing. "She...she won't let me."

Jessica rose from the couch and placed her hand on his shoulder again, looking nothing but certain.

"I know I forget things sometimes," Jessica started, for a moment her eyes falling, bleeding sadness. Then she looked back at Josh and visibly forced it back, "But I know you're trying so hard to be better and we're all," she gestured to Mike, who nodded, standing now as well "so proud of you. And I know Sam is too. Just give her some time. I'm sure she misses you, Josh."

Josh stared down at Jessica, torn between wanting to believe her and not daring. His heart fluttered madly in his chest at the thought that Sam hadn't given up on him. It was probably the height of foolishness to entertain the notion that Sam held nothing but contempt for him, but Jessica seemed so sure…

"Yeah. Okay." Josh nodded, then smiled at Jess. "Thanks, Jess."

Jessica beamed.


	7. INCIDENT REPORT - FILE 083-W

_INCIDENT REPORT FORM_

 _CASE NO: 2573_

 _DATE: 02/02/2015_

 _OFFICER: F. ROY_

 _PREPARED BY: CPT. OWENS_

 _INCIDENT:_

 _AT C. 02:21 AM STATION RECEIVED S.O.S FROM EASTERN FIRE TOWER. MESSAGE WAS HINDERED BY STORM AND DUE TO SEVERITY OF BLIZZARD EARLIEST RELIEF WAS SENT AT 06:20 AM. UPON ARRIVAL AT BLACKWOOD PINES MOUNTAIN LODGE OFFICERS ON SITE REPORTED COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF BUILDING, SURVIVORS JUST OUTSIDE WRECKAGE. ALL RETRIEVED AND BROUGHT BACK TO STATION FOR QUESTIONING._

 _DETAIL OF EVENT:_

 _SURVIVORS ALL INJURED IN SOME CAPACITY, MOST NOTABLY WITH CAUCASIAN BROWN-HAIRED MALE MISSING TWO EXTREMITIES ON LEFT HAND. POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS OBSERVED IN SOME. CAUCASIAN BLONDE FEMALE CATATONIC._

* * *

 _09:21:17 AM_

 _BMCPD0136_

 _POLICE INTERVIEW_

 _ROOM 3_

 _JOSHUA WASHINGTON_

 _MALE_

 _20 YRS_

 _[JOSHUA WASHINGTON ADMITTED TO INTERVIEW ROOM]_

 _[J. WASHINGTON MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY, LOOKING AT HANDS RESTING IN LAP]_

 _INTERVIEWER: Mister Washington, we have a few questions for you regarding what happened last night at your family's lodge._

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[continues to talk to self, seemingly unaware of surroundings]_

 _INTERVIEWER: Mr. Washington? Mr. Washington, can you hear me?_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[grows increasingly more agitated, shakes head]_

 _INTERVIEWER: [yelling] Mr. Washington!_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[startles, looks up from hands]_ _ **What—? Wh—?**_

 _INTERVIEWER: You are Joshua, correct? Joshua Washington?_

 _ **WASHINGTON: I—I'm Josh. Yes.**_ _[shakes head, visibly tense]_ _**Who are you? Where am I?**_

 _INTERVIEWER: I'm Officer Williams. You're at the Blackwood Park Ranger Station, along with the rest of your friends, remember?_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[looks away to the side; speech is slow, slightly slurred]_ _ **I remember...the lodge...I had plans but—**_ _[cradles head in hands, shaking]_ _ **it was wrong, wrong, wrong, I was so mad, I've been mad for so long and then Hannah**_ _[shaking worsens, voice distorted by tears]_ _ **oh, God, Hannah, oh, Hannah—!**_

 _INTERVIEWER: I don't understand, what plans? I need you to clarify, Mr. Washington. What happe_ _ned, exactly?_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[still holding head, voice slightly muffled]_ _**I was angry. They, they moved on but I couldn't forget and they—**_ _[voice rises, lowers arms to glare]_ _ **they didn't care!**_ _[sudden anger leaves, slumps against chair]_ _**But I was wrong. I was bad. I hurt them, hurt myself, I thought I was doing the right thing—**_ _[incomprehensible muttering]_

 _INTERVIEWER: You hurt them? How? What did you do?_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[no response, continues talking to self]_

 _INTERVIEWER: Mr. Washington? Joshua!_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[no response, continues talking to self]_

 _INTERVIEWER: …[aside, to C.O. observer] I don't know how to get through to him._

 _INTERVIEWER: [leaves, comes back with a cup of water] Here. [cup is placed in front of WASHINGTON]_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[speaks up]_ _ **I don't understand.**_

 _INTERVIEWER: [resumes seat opposite] What don't you understand?_

 _ **WASHINGTON: ...They came back for me…**_

 _INTERVIEWER: Who did?_

 _ **WASHINGTON: Chris. Mike. Sam. They came back...they hugged me, like...it didn't matter. Like I mattered. I hurt them...and they came back for me.**_

 _INTERVIEWER: Where were you? It says here [shuffles through report papers] that your friends and one of our officers went down into the abandoned mines to retrieve you. Why were you down there?_

 _ **WASHINGTON: I was taken—dragged—I didn't think it was real, I thought it was all in my head, but she was real and it's all my fault, I left her down there—**_

 _INTERVIEWER: Slow down. You were forced there? By who?_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[mutters unintelligibly, holds head and rocks back and forth]_

 _INTERVIEWER: [sighs] How about we try something else. What happened to the lodge? Why was it on fire?_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[jerks up]_ _ **Fire?**_

 _INTERVIEWER: Yes. The entire estate was in flames, blown up from a gas leak. We're still trying to understand how the leak occurred._

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[shakes head]_ _ **I don't know. It wasn't me. Not in the plan.**_

 _INTERVIEWER: You keep saying 'plan'. What plan are you referring to?_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[hunches in seat]_ _ **My plan. I. I wanted to hurt them. Make them hurt like I hurt, make them pay.**_

 _INTERVIEWER: What did you do?_

 _ **WASHINGTON: Nothing good. Nothing good.**_

 _INTERVIEWER: Can you be more specific?_

 _ **WASHINGTON: Was just supposed to be a prank. Recorded it. Everyone—we were all going to be famous but—I fucked it up, I fucked it all up.**_

 _INTERVIEWER: Did you intentionally try to harm your friends?_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[jerks in seat]_ _ **NO! No, I—I did hurt them, but not on purpose, it was fake, but Mike was so mad and I—I hurt Ashley, I was just so mad, it was going all wrong—**_

 _INTERVIEWER: You assaulted your friend?_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[covering face]_ _ **I'm so sick, I'm a monster, I'm a monster—**_ _[more unintelligible muttering]_

 _INTERVIEWER: Joshua, if you could try to focus and talk to me about what happened at the lodge—_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[agitated, stands abruptly]_ _ **What is this? Why am I here? Where is everybody?**_

 _INTERVIEWER: [rises from seat, holds out hands in placating gesture] They're being interviewed just like you—_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[yelling]_ _ **You're wrong! I don't believe you! They left me, didn't they? Tell me the truth!**_

 _INTERVIEWER: They're—_

 _ **WASHINGTON:**_ _[runs to door and begins pounding on it]_ _ **They left me alone! They promised! Why?!**_ _[continues banging fists]_ _ **Let me out! Let me out!**_

 _INTERVIEWER: [aside, to C.O. observer] I doubt we'll get anything else from him until he's had proper treatment._

 _INTERVIEWER: [granted permission, opens door for WASHINGTON] I'll take you to your friends._

 _[END INTERVIEW—09:31:55 AM]_


End file.
